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346 New Ladies
since 10/3/2005. |
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 Vietnamese
customs of weddings, funerals, holidays
and rituals all are attached to village community.
marriages not only reflected the lovers' but
also had to meet the interests of the family
lines, the village; thus, the choice for future
bride or bridegroom was done very carefully,
which had to go through many formalities from
the plighting ceremony, the official proposal
to the bride's family, the wedding to the marriage
tie, the ritual of sharing bridal cup of wine,
the newly-weds' first visit to the bride's family.
there are two wedding celebrations, one party
given by bride's family and the other by the
grooms.
 In
the past, families enlisted the help of matchmakers
to choose marriage partners. couples also consulted
fortune-tellers to see if their horoscopes were
compatible and to choose auspicious days for
ceremonies. ceremonies for the proposal and
the engagement ceremony may now be held two
weeks before the wedding.
the vietnamese wedding ceremony consists
of two parts. on the first day the groom with
his parents and a small group of family members
or friends-goes to the bride's home to seek
her parents' permission to marry her. often,
the groom presents the traditional offering
of betel leaves and areca nuts to the bride's
family. after the groom has made this formal
proposal of marriage, the bride's family makes
a similar request to its ancestors at the family
altar. on the second day, there is a celebration
after the bride and groom performed certain
rituals at an altar set up for the occasion.
 Traditionally,
at this ceremony held at the groom's house,
the tutelary god of marriage, the old man in
the moon, is asked to bless and protect the
couple. three tiny cups are filled with rice
alcohol. the elder who leads the ceremony bows
before the altar, takes a sip from one of cups,
and passes it to who does likewise. the groom
then takes a piece of ginger and rubs it in
salt, and both bride and groom eat a little
of it to signify their lasting love. only then
are they ready to exchange wedding ring.
these days, the two ceremonies are often held
on the same day. once the solemnities are over,
it is time for a feast with family and friends.
if the couple can afford it, the wedding feast
is celebrated at a restaurant and a wedding
car is hired for the occasion. most vietnamese
have adopted western attired-a bridal gown for
the woman and a suit for a dowry before he was
permitted to marry a woman. traditionally, the
groom wears the traditional dress (blue
ao-dai - vietnamese traditional wedding dress)
and the bride has to wear the traditional
dress (red and yellow aodai) this practice
is not formally observed these days, but men
are still expected to give jewelry and other
gifts to the bride. it is traditional for a
married couple to care for the man's parents;
subsequently, it is very important to have a
son!
if there is only one son, he and his wife must
live with his parents. family continuity is
accorded highest consideration. and for a family
without boys there is sadness and serious concern.
it is not unusual for parents, seeing that the
only son has not chance of having male heirs
to carry on the family's name, to try and try.
and it necessary, to succeeding tremendous pressure
on a son and daughter in-law to find another
woman for their son, even at the risk of creating
a family rupture. the parents control almost
all of the children's life, even though they
are over eighteen years of age.
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